Skinny White Guy

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

THE SKINNY WHITE GUY - MISSING IN ACTION?

ABOARD AIR FORCE ONE

"Skinny, I need you to take care of something," the Big W said. "It's a black ops job. But you don't have to be black to do it. That's just a name, you know."

"I understand sir," he said.

"By the way, Tony Snow sure recovered quick from his surgery."

"He's already back at work. Do you think that the temporary guy we hired to stand in for Tony had anything to do with it? Seemed like a nice enough guy. Had some nice hats."

THEN THE PRESIDENT GOT DOWN TO THE MISSION

"This environmental stuff is causing a big stir," he said. "Could cost us the next election if we're not careful. But I can't use the Vice President for this mission. I sent Dick to tour a biodiesel plant. They make fuel from waste cooking oil. He came back with a whole bunch of potato chips. Lynn threatened to choke me if I ever let him do that again."

THEN HE OPENED A DESK DRAWER AND LAID A SERIES OF PHOTOS ON THE DESK...

"Al Gore has been making movies and causing a big stir about global warming, and all the while he's a major contributor to the greenhouse gas issue. I'm not just talking flatulence, no sir. In addition to one of the highest electric bills in Tennessee, he's got the highest sewer bill, and buys more TP from Costco than anyone else in the Southeast."

"During the election, while he was preaching conservation, he was going through TP like Grant through Richmond."

"In his movie AN INCONVENIENT TRUTH, he made it sound like he is Mr. Green. Now he's got the rest of Hollywood on board."

"Cheryl Crow is telling everyone that all they need is one square of TP per bathroom visit."

"Bill Clinton is breathing through his mouth in this picture... I need you to find out why."

THEN HE HANDED THE SKINNY WHITE GUY AN ENGRAVED INVITATION TO A PARTY AT AL GORE'S HOUSE, AND STATE DEPARTMENT CREDENTIALS AS HIS COVER.

"Go to the party, and find the truth," he said.