Sunday, October 15, 2006

 



U.N. HEADQUARTERS, NEW YORK

Sanctions aren't the only topic of discussion at the United Nations. Secretary General Kofi Annan's term expires on December 31st. In January 2005, the United States began diplomatic efforts to secure the appointment of the noted economist and diplomat Mister T as the eighth Secretary General. The Skinny White Guy was sent to the U.N to look out for U.S. interests.




In typical U.N. style, America bashing was in the forefront of every discussion.
"All the Amelicans think about is the upcoming erection," the Ambassador said. "In China, your erection means very rittle to us, as long as you keep buying our knock-offs."



But behind the scenes, it was a different story.


"I've got to get me a job when this gig ends," the Secretary General said.
Knowing his talent and work as the DJ at the U.N. anti-Christmas party the last nine years, the Skinny White Guy said "Why not do what you do best? Party and spin records?"





The cards were stacked against the U.S., and Ban Ki-moon of South Korea was elected Secretary General after a party hosted by the Hyundai Motor Company.
"I have one more question," the senior member of the panel asked. "Can I get a leather interior?"



The Skinny White Guy voted his conscience. "The United States feels that Mr. T's talent and ability would make him the most effective U.N. Secretary General ever." But he was unable to carry the day.

LATER


"Mr. Skinny," the Secretary asked during a private moment," I ain't got no green card. How am I going to stay in the U.S. after my gig here is over?" The Skinny White Guy pondered the issue and then offered the retiring statesman some advice.
"We never kick anyone out. But there is one thing you can do to guarantee you can stay."





Taking the Skinny White Guy's advice to heart, he adopted the stage name Kofi Annandez and started playing Salsa. Soon he was the hottest DJ on the circuit.


LATER

Security guards delivered the message. There is someone who says she really needs to see you.





"Did you really mean it when you said you'd come to my Lamaze classes?" she asked. "I know that most surrogate fathers don't do that." The Skinny White Guy grabbed his jacket and they called a cab.
"You know, I got really excited watching you cast that vote in the General Assembly," she whispered. "Maybe after class you could come over to my place. Pretty boy is at dance lessons. I hope the baby is as skinny and white as you. Male pattern baldness is hereditary isn't it?"



skinny.white.guy@hotmail.com
THE RIGHT THING IN SIXTY MINUTES at
www.5thstoryreview.com

# posted by Dave Diamantes @ 5:29 AM 0 Comments

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