Wednesday, October 25, 2006
WASHINGTON, D.C.The Skinny White Guy was called to Washington. As usual, the meeting was secret, and behind the scenes. "Skinny, I need you to go under cover, and help Congress straighten out what's been going on," he said. "I'm proposing legislation that will install Net Nanny software on every one of their computers. Keep 'em from surfing porn sites during Congressional hearings and sending dirty messages to each other."
He appeared on a fiery horse with the speed of light, in a cloud of dust with a hearty "Hi-yo Silver!"
He appeared on a fiery horse with the speed of light, in a cloud of dust with a hearty "Hi-yo Silver!""Rest assured, we'll get to the bottom of this!" he said.
LATER, WHILE APPEARING ON A TALK SHOW
"Is the American public ready for someone who is NOT a Washington insider?" the co-anchor asked. "Will they elect someone with no Washington connections and with no national experience?"
"It's happened before," the Skinny White Guy said. "Can you spell MALAISE?"
The response was swift and to the point.
NEW YORK
When his agent called and asked if he'd like to fill in on the late-night talk show, the Skinny White Guy begged off. Then his agent mentioned the guest list. He grabbed the next train to Manhattan.
"I did a lot of hiking in Yellowstone last summer," she said.
"Did you know that it's illegal to shoot beavers in National Parks?" he asked.
"Wow, way cool," she said. "You just know everything!"
AFTER THE SHOW
AFTER THE SHOW
"I had a wonderful time tonight," she said. "Frankenstein won't be home for another month. He's shooting some dumb movie somewhere. Do you know that person at the window?"
"How about you and I spend some time together?" she whispered. "You are soooo skinny and soooo white. I don't know if I can control myself."
"Think of the great time we could have together." she said.
"I can imagine just what it would be like," he said. "But my country needs me."
skinny.white.guy@hotmail.com
THE RIGHT THING IN SIXTY MINUTES at
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